I read an estranged mom's manifesto

[dreadlordmrson]

Watch on YouTube

My comment:
I wish I could send this video to my mom without stirring up drama.
I'm not estranged from my mom. I even want to spend more time with her. But sometimes... it can be frustrating. How she deflects from harm she done to me. When she even acknowledges it, it's in a "well I did the best I could I had problems too" kinda way. And when she's very stressed she can have emotional meltdowns and I have to... handle her.
Once we had an argument over Discord and I kept trying to back out so we could cool down. And finally said I was going to refuse to respond to her for 24 hours. One day. A time out. She flipped her shit, had a melt down, self-harmed, called me abusive to her friends, tried to call me out on my friends and family Discord server (I deleted it saying "this isn't appropriate for this space").
Just. Exhausting. Most of the time I love her and want her to be in my life. But you can see how the bad moment hang over me and haunt my feelings about her.

Do I also have emotional issues sometimes? Sure. But I try to disengage when I can. Back off, isolate, cool down. I've spent my life learning how to better manage my emotional disregulation. She just tries to avoid it and then when it spills out in bad moments it gets everywhere. Augh.

But yeah. Thanks for this video. Wish I could spritz her with it like a water bottle when she's acting up.